It all started on a normal Tuesday. You know, the kind of day where nothing special is supposed to happen, but somehow everything turns upside down. I was getting ready to leave for work, half asleep, and I was rushing to get everything done.
As usual, I brushed my teeth. Now, I don't know about you, but brushing my teeth in the morning is the most boring part of my routine. I don't even really care about the toothpaste brand, as long as it foams up. So I did what I do every day—grabbed my toothbrush, squeezed out the paste, and went to work.
But today was different.
You see, I had a slight issue that morning. I had misplaced my toothbrush. Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I didn’t know where I put it. I checked everywhere—under the sink, on the counter, even in my shoes (don’t ask). It was nowhere to be found.
And just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, my roommate, Kwame, came into the bathroom, holding his toothbrush like he was holding the Holy Grail.
“Bro, you’re looking for this?” he asked, with a cheeky grin on his face.
I froze. Of course, it was in his hands the whole time. That was when I had the brilliant idea: “Why don’t I just use Kwame’s toothbrush?” I mean, we’ve been living together for months, so what’s the harm in sharing a toothbrush, right? Big mistake.
I looked at his toothbrush, which, by the way, was way too clean to be real. It had those fancy rubber grips on the sides, a thick head, and even looked like it had extra bristles for better cleaning. I swear it was like a toothbrush that belonged in an ad.
Kwame was looking at me with a raised eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to use mine? I’m not sure you can handle it.”
"Please, it’s just a toothbrush," I said, trying to sound casual. "We’re both human, right?"
"Right," Kwame said, but there was something in his voice that made me second guess my decision. Still, I grabbed the toothbrush.
I squeezed out some paste and started brushing my teeth. Everything felt normal at first. In fact, it felt too good. I mean, this toothbrush was like a luxury experience. My teeth were getting the best treatment ever, and I felt like I was on some high-end spa treatment.
But here’s where the problem started. As I brushed, I couldn’t help but notice that Kwame’s toothbrush was a little... too soft. I’m talking about the bristles. They were like cotton balls, barely scrubbing anything. So, I pressed harder. That’s when the toothbrush slipped, and before I knew it, I had poked myself in the eye.
Yes. I poked myself in the eye with a toothbrush.
Now, I know what you're thinking: How does that even happen? How do you manage to poke yourself in the eye while brushing your teeth? Well, it’s easier than you think when you’re not paying attention and trying to scrub your teeth like you’re cleaning a car.
In that split second, I felt a sharp pain in my left eye. I stumbled back, hitting my head against the bathroom counter. I had to stop brushing immediately because my eye was watering, and it felt like someone had just stuck a needle right into my eyeball.
I stood there, blinking rapidly, trying to shake the pain off. But it wouldn’t go away. It only got worse. Now, my eye was swollen, red, and the tears kept coming. I stared at myself in the mirror, looking like I had just walked out of a boxing match with no gloves. The situation was getting out of hand.
"Kwame!" I yelled, trying to hold back the tears. "I think I need help. I think I broke my eye!"
He came rushing in, and the first thing he said was, “Bro, what did I tell you? I said you couldn’t handle the toothbrush."
I was in too much pain to argue. I was still standing there with toothpaste foaming from my mouth, my swollen eye, and a feeling of complete stupidity.
“Let’s get some ice on that,” Kwame said, shaking his head.
He handed me a towel, and I wrapped it around some ice cubes. I pressed it against my swollen eye, trying to ease the pain. But the damage had been done.
Later That Day
By the time I got to work, my black eye was looking like I had gotten into a fight with a very angry squirrel. My left eye was completely swollen, and I could barely see through it. I tried to explain to my coworkers that I hadn’t been in a fight, but they didn’t believe me.
“Man, you’re in the office looking like someone just punched you in the face,” my friend, Nana, said with a grin.
“Yeah, it’s a long story,” I replied, trying to act cool, but I knew everyone could see that I had just gotten a black eye from sharing a toothbrush. It was embarrassing.
To make things worse, I had to give a presentation that day. I stood in front of the room, trying to act confident while my left eye was slowly turning a darker shade of purple. I could feel the looks of curiosity and pity from my coworkers, but I just powered through.
“You good, bro?” one of them whispered as I was presenting.
“Yeah, just got a black eye from a toothbrush,” I whispered back.
They looked at me like I had just told them I had been hit by a truck.
Later that day, I went home, still feeling sorry for myself. My face hurt, and the whole incident had made me a laughingstock at work. But, at least Kwame apologized for his super-soft toothbrush.
“Bro, I swear, I didn’t think you’d actually hurt yourself with it,” Kwame said, trying to hold back his laughter.
“I didn’t either,” I said, rubbing my swollen eye. “But I’m pretty sure my eye is now part of my permanent look.”
He laughed again, but this time, I didn’t mind. After all, it was pretty funny.
The Moral of the Story?
So, what did I learn from all this? First of all, never share a toothbrush with anyone. Especially not one that has been designed for the delicate cleaning of pearls. And secondly, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re thinking about sharing a toothbrush with someone, remember that it might not just be your teeth that get cleaned.
Oh, and maybe invest in some new toothpaste while you’re at it.
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