Let me tell you a story about the time I visited a juju man. You know, one of those people who are supposed to have all the spiritual power, who can call spirits, send curses, and even help you find lost things. I never thought I’d be one of those people who would need such help, but life happens. And when it does, sometimes you end up at the door of a juju man.
I didn’t go there because I wanted to. No. I went because I had a problem. You see, I was in a serious situation. It all started with my phone.
I had been using the same phone for years. It wasn’t a bad phone. It was just old. Really old. It had more cracks than a crumbling wall and a battery that lasted about as long as a slice of bread in front of a hungry person. But I loved it. It was my phone. Until one day, it just stopped working. Completely. I tried everything. I put it in rice (because that's supposed to work for some reason). I rebooted it. I even tried praying over it. But nothing worked.
So, one day, I was talking to my friend, Kwame, about it, and he said, "Ah, maybe your phone is under a spell."
"A spell?" I asked, confused.
"Yeah. You never know. Juju people can do that," he said. "I know a juju man who can help."
At first, I thought he was joking. But then he gave me directions, and before I knew it, I was on my way to visit this so-called juju man.
The Journey to the Juju Man
I took a trotro to the area Kwame described. I didn’t know the juju man’s exact address, so I had to ask people around. I ended up following a small path behind a big church and found myself in front of a small wooden house. The sign above the door was handwritten, "Juju Man: Spells, Curses, and Spiritual Solutions."
I stood there for a while, debating if I should turn around or knock. But then I remembered my phone. If there was even a chance that this juju man could fix it, I was in.
I knocked, and a man with long dreadlocks and a large beard opened the door. He looked like someone who had seen a lot of things in life, mostly because his eyes seemed to say, “I’ve seen things you wouldn’t believe.”
"Yes, young man?" he asked with a deep voice.
"Ah, good afternoon," I said, nervously. "I’ve been told you can help with… er... spiritual problems."
He looked at me, then at my phone in my hand. "Ah, you’re here for the phone. Come inside."
The Juju Man's House
The juju man’s house looked like something out of a movie. There were beads hanging everywhere, candles lit on the table, and strange-looking statues all over the place. The room was filled with the smell of incense, and I wasn’t sure if I should feel scared or impressed.
He motioned for me to sit on a cushion, and I did, nervously.
“So, what is the problem with your phone?” the juju man asked as he sat across from me.
I explained everything—the broken screen, the battery that died after two hours, the fact that it wouldn’t even charge properly. As I spoke, he nodded slowly, looking like he was processing my story.
He picked up my phone, studied it carefully, and then nodded again.
“Hmmm, yes, this phone is under a spell. Someone has done something to it,” he said.
"Wait... someone put a spell on my phone?" I asked, shocked.
“Yes. Someone. Not just anyone, but someone close to you,” he said.
I froze. “What do you mean, close to me?”
“The person who cursed your phone is someone who knows you well. They want you to suffer,” he said. He paused and stared at me. "But don't worry, I can fix it."
I was starting to panic. Who would curse my phone? Was it my ex? Was it Kwame? Or worse... was it my mum, who had once complained about how much I spent on data?
The Juju Man Gets to Work
The juju man stood up and walked over to a table covered with all sorts of strange items—bones, shells, herbs, and a few animal skulls. I was staring at one particularly big skull when he turned to me.
“Relax,” he said. “The spirits will help us.”
He began chanting something in a language I didn’t understand. He was holding a small bowl in one hand and a chicken feather in the other. He moved his arms around, shaking them like he was trying to summon the wind.
At this point, I was starting to think I had made a mistake. I should’ve just taken the phone to a repair shop instead of chasing some magical cure.
But then, as he chanted louder, something strange happened. My phone began to light up. At first, it flickered, and then the screen came to life.
I couldn’t believe it. The phone that had been dead for days was now working again.
“See? It’s fixed,” the juju man said, smiling.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. My phone was working perfectly, and it had even stopped lagging.
“I told you, the spirits have helped,” he said.
The WiFi Surprise
Just when I thought I was done, he did something even stranger. He handed me the phone, and I noticed something odd.
The WiFi signal on my phone was full.
“Wait... your house doesn’t even have WiFi,” I said. “How is this even possible?”
The juju man smiled and pointed at a small device on the table.
“That, my friend, is a juju WiFi router,” he said proudly. “I use it to connect to the spirits. They help me get better connection than most people.”
I stared at the device. It looked like an old router, but it was glowing a strange blue color.
“You’re telling me you have WiFi... for spirits?” I asked.
“Yes, indeed,” he said. “The spirits need to communicate with the outside world too, you know.”
I couldn't stop laughing. Here I was, expecting to see some magical powers, and instead, I was being offered WiFi by a juju man who also happened to be a tech genius.
The Bill
After everything was done, the juju man gave me my phone back, and I stood up to leave.
“Thank you,” I said, still amazed. “I can’t believe you fixed my phone.”
“Ah, it was nothing,” he replied. “But for my services, I will charge you a small fee.”
I reached into my pocket, expecting to pay a small amount for the work done. But when he told me the price, I nearly fell over.
“That will be GHS 500,” he said.
“GHS 500?” I asked, almost falling out of my chair.
“Yes. The juju is powerful, but it comes with a price,” he said.
I stared at him, feeling my heart sink. This was no longer about fixing a phone. This was a business.
I paid him, and I walked out of there with a working phone, full WiFi, and an empty wallet.
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