Let me tell you about Ama.
Yes, that Ama. The one who replies to your message when even mosquitoes are asleep. 🦟💤
It all started one bright Tuesday morning. I was minding my broke business when I saw her picture on Twitter. She was glowing. The type of glow that makes you zoom in just to confirm it’s not a filter. I liked her tweet. She didn’t like mine back. No problem. I followed her. She didn’t follow me back. Again, no problem. I was patient like boiled yam.
Then one day, boom! She liked one of my tweets. I felt it in my chest. Even my heartbeat formed a beat:
“Boom-boom-cha! Boom-boom-cha!”
I used that moment to slide into her DM.
I started slow. No pressure.
"Hi Ama, hope you're having a good day 😊."
Nothing.
I waited for hours. Then days. Then weeks.
No reply.
I gave up. I told myself, "Let the Lord's will be done."
Then one night, exactly 2:13am, my phone buzzed. I thought it was momo alert. But no.
Ama: "Hey. Just saw this 😅."
At 2am? 😳
But love is blind—and slightly foolish. So I replied like I wasn’t already in bed dreaming of fried rice.
Me: "Haha no worries! How’s your night going?"
She replied instantly.
Ama: "Cool. Just watching a movie. You?"
And that’s how our strange, midnight relationship began.
THE 2AM ROUTINE
For some reason, Ama only existed after 2am. During the day, she was ghost mode. Full ninja. But once the clock hit 2, she was more active than ECG during elections.
I tried testing it.
I messaged her at 10am: "Hey, hope you’re having a good day."
No reply.
12pm. Nothing.
7pm. Crickets.
But at exactly 2:07am...
Ama: "Awww thanks 🥺 sorry I slept."
Slept? You slept the whole day? What are you, a bat? 🦇
But I didn’t complain. She was fine. And she was texting me. At that point, I would’ve waited till 4am if she asked me to.
THE CONVERSATIONS
Now let’s talk about our chats. Or as I like to call them: the Olympics of confusion.
I would send her a message like:
"So what do you do for work?"
She’d reply three nights later at 2:21am:
"Haha it’s kinda hard to explain 😅."
Ah. What is this? A secret government mission?
I asked her what she liked to eat.
She said: "Hmm depends on my mood 😌."
Okay, fine.
I asked if she wanted to meet up.
She said: "Ehh I don’t really go out like that. But maybe someday 🙈."
Someday? Ama was talking like I asked her to marry me at midnight on a volcano.
Still, I kept texting.
And every time I thought she had ghosted me for good, my phone would buzz at 2:08am like magic.
One time I was in a deep sleep, dreaming about winning the lottery and buying waakye for the whole compound. Then suddenly:
Ama: “You up?”
I said, “For you? Of course.”
Even though I was half-asleep and drooling on my pillow.
THE DAY I TRIED TO CALL HER
One night, I got bold.
I said: "Can I call you? Just to hear your voice?"
She replied: "Hmm I’m not really a phone person. But we can voice note?"
I said cool.
She sent a 3-second voice note:
"Heyyyyyyy 😂."
That was it.
I replayed it 17 times. I was smiling like an idiot in love. My roommates thought I was going mad.
I sent her a voice note too.
"Hi Ama, nice to hear your voice. I hope we can talk more like this 😄."
No reply.
Until three nights later at 2:19am:
"Awww you sound cute 😍."
Ei. She was controlling me like a DSTV remote.
MY FRIENDS STARTED WORRYING
My boys noticed my behavior.
Kwesi: "Bro, who you dey chat with at 2am every night?"
Me: "Ama."
Kwesi: "Ama who? The one that only replies when cockroach is doing night shift?"
They told me to stop. But I said they didn’t understand her. Ama was different.
They said, “Exactly our point.”
THE NIGHT I ALMOST WENT MAD
One night I waited for her text. It didn’t come.
I couldn’t sleep. I kept checking my phone like it owed me money.
2:01am. Nothing.
2:15am. Still nothing.
2:30am. Silence.
By 3am, I was sweating. Was she okay? Was I blocked? Did I dream everything?
Then at 4:47am...
Ama: "Sorry I dozed off. You good?"
At that point, I had to laugh to stop myself from crying. 😂
THE DAYLIGHT SHOCKER
One day, she surprised me.
Ama: "Hey, I’ll be around your area. Wanna meet?"
During the daylight? I almost fainted.
I wore my best clothes. Sprayed all my perfume. Even used coconut oil. I looked like I was going for a wedding.
She arrived.
She looked even better in person. Skin like cocoa butter. Hair like a movie star. Smile that could revive the dead.
We went to eat. I paid with all the coins I had.
We talked.
I asked her about the 2am replies.
She laughed: "Oh, that’s just when I get free time. I’m busy during the day."
Busy doing what? Fighting crime?
But I nodded.
She said: "You're funny. I’m glad we met."
I melted like ice cream in Kasoa sun ☀️.
We said goodbye.
That night, I waited.
2am came.
No reply.
3am. Nothing.
Next day. Silence.
Then, at 2:02am the day after...
Ama: "Heyyyy, I had a great time 😊."
She vanished like a magician.
But every now and then, at exactly 2am… my phone buzzes.
Ama: “You up?”
And like a fool in love, I always am.
📱💔😂
THE END
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