It was supposed to be a simple date. Just me and her. I’d been talking to her for a while—let’s call her Sika—and she seemed nice enough. I was excited. I had even put on my best shirt (the one without any holes) and borrowed my cousin's cologne that smelled a little too strong but would hopefully make me smell “fresh.”
I didn’t expect anything crazy. Just a chilled dinner, maybe some good conversation, and hopefully a chance to show her that I could be the romantic type—minus the cheesy pick-up lines.
But you know how life can surprise you when you least expect it?
I got to the restaurant first, early enough to pick the best seat (by the window, of course). I was trying to act cool, you know, pretending like I was too busy to check my phone. But the truth was, I was checking my phone every few seconds. Was she going to cancel? Was she going to show up? Was she even coming?
Finally, I got a text: “I’m here!” and she sent me a location pin. I quickly stood up, grabbed my bag, and started walking towards the door. I swear, I was trying to look confident, but I’m sure my feet were tapping to the rhythm of my nerves.
I walked outside, and there she was. Sika. And—wait a minute—who’s that behind her?
She was with someone. A friend. Not just any friend, but her best friend. I blinked. My mind raced. What is going on here?
“Hey!” Sika waved, and I smiled, but my mind was too busy doing mental calculations.
“Hi,” I managed to say, still trying to process what was going on. I glanced at her friend, who was standing next to her, smiling like she was waiting for her cue to make this awkward situation even more... awkward.
“Oh, this is my best friend, Abena,” Sika said with a huge grin. “I told her we were going out, and she wanted to join! I hope that’s okay?”
“Uh… yeah, sure!” I said, trying to hide my panic. “The more the merrier, right?” I laughed nervously.
What do you mean “the more the merrier”? I thought. I was supposed to be on a date, not a group hangout. And now, I had a third person at the table. This was going to be interesting.
We sat down at the table, and I quickly glanced at the menu, trying to seem like I had everything under control. But deep down, I was already doing mental math in my head.
Okay, let’s see. I’ve got about 30 cedis left in my wallet. That should be enough for at least... maybe two dishes?
I tried to focus on the conversation, but every time I glanced at the menu, my stomach did a little flip. Abena—Sika’s friend—was chatting away about something, but I wasn’t really listening. All I could think about was the 30 cedis in my wallet and how I was going to stretch it to cover dinner for three.
Abena looked like she was enjoying herself. She was laughing and adding to the conversation, while Sika was also smiling. Everything seemed normal, except for the fact that my anxiety was building with every passing second.
I cleared my throat. "So, what are you having?" I asked, trying to sound casual.
“Oh, I’ll have the grilled tilapia,” Sika said. “With the banku. The large portion, please.”
I froze. The large portion?
“Uh... okay.” I nodded. I then turned to Abena, trying to gauge what she might order.
“I’ll have the jollof rice with fried chicken!” Abena exclaimed with excitement.
I smiled, but inside, I was in a full panic mode. I quickly scanned the menu, hoping that there was something small I could afford. But everything seemed too fancy, and the prices? Let’s just say my 30 cedis wouldn’t be enough to pay for either of their meals.
I tried to stay calm. Maybe they would order something smaller. Maybe they were just pretending to be hungry.
The waiter came by and took our orders. When he looked at me, I did a little prayer in my head. I was hoping for some miracle. Maybe they would order water and call it a day.
“Water, please,” I said, trying to sound casual.
The waiter raised an eyebrow but wrote it down. “Got it.”
Okay. We’re doing fine. It’s just a drink. That’s normal, right?
I smiled awkwardly as the waiter left, hoping that the food wouldn’t bankrupt me.
“So, tell me, do you live around here?” Sika asked, smiling sweetly.
“Oh, yeah, yeah,” I said. “I live around the area. Not too far. Just... a little down the road.”
Meanwhile, Abena was scrolling through her phone, probably oblivious to my growing panic.
Finally, the food arrived. The grilled tilapia with banku was placed in front of Sika. The jollof rice with fried chicken was brought to Abena. And as the plates were placed on the table, I realized something.
I hadn’t ordered anything for myself.
I froze, staring at the food on the table. This was it. The moment where I’d have to face the harsh reality of my financial situation.
Sika looked at me, her eyebrows raised. “Aren’t you eating?”
“Uh…” I scratched my head. “I’ll just... wait for a little bit.”
Lie. Lie. Lie.
“Oh,” Sika said. “Well, I guess I’ll just eat first, then.”
Abena looked at me, confused. “Are you sure you’re not hungry? This food is amazing.”
I smiled nervously. “Yeah, I’m good. Just... not very hungry tonight.”
Sika, being the kind-hearted person she was, gave me a concerned look. “Are you sure? You look a little... stressed.”
“No, no,” I assured her. “I’m just... thinking about some stuff.”
My mind was racing. The waiter came by with the bill. I glanced at it, and my heart sank.
It was over 200 cedis.
“Excuse me,” I said to the waiter. “Can I... can I pay in installments?”
The waiter stared at me, not quite understanding what I meant. “Installments?”
“Like... I can pay some now, and the rest later?” I smiled weakly, praying that he’d somehow understand my desperation.
He shook his head. “We only take full payment, sir.”
I felt my face flush red. “Oh. Okay.”
As I stared at the bill, the full weight of the situation hit me. I had 30 cedis. My food wasn’t even on the bill, but I would still be expected to pay for theirs. Sika and Abena were busy eating, laughing, and chatting while I tried to figure out how to escape without being embarrassed.
I quickly pulled out my phone and tried to transfer some money. But my bank balance was as sad as my situation. Insufficient funds.
Sika noticed my unease and looked at me. “Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I lied again, “Just... trying to sort something out.” I smiled, but I could feel my face burning.
Finally, I had no choice but to tell her the truth.
“Sika,” I started. “I don’t have enough money to pay for all of us.”
She stared at me, looking confused for a second. “What do you mean?”
“I only have 30 cedis,” I said, and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.
“Oh...” she said, looking around at the food. Then, with a smile, she added, “Well, don’t worry. I’ll cover it.”
I blinked. What?
She giggled, then turned to Abena. “You know what? I’ll pay for us today.”
Abena smiled, clearly relieved. “Thanks, Sika! You’re the best!”
As Sika paid the bill, I sat there, completely speechless. Not only had she saved me from complete embarrassment, but she did it so casually. Like it wasn’t a big deal.
As we left the restaurant, Sika turned to me. “So... next time, we can just go for coffee, okay? No expensive meals.”
I nodded, grateful. “Definitely.”
And that, my friends, was how I went on a date, thought I was going to be broke for life, and somehow ended up not having to pay a single cedi. 🥴
The moral of the story? Never, and I mean NEVER, go on a date without knowing how much money you have first. And if she brings a friend, make sure you’ve got more than 30 cedis.
The end! 😂
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