Let me tell you about one day that I will never forget — the day I tried to be a gentleman and nearly lost my face 😩.
It all started on a hot Monday morning in Accra. I was running late to work, sweating like a roasted yam in the sun. You see, traffic in Accra is like a horror movie — it never ends. So, as usual, I ran to the roadside and waved my hand like I was trying to summon spirits 👋🏾.
Finally, a trotro stopped. Now, if you’ve ever taken a trotro in Accra, you know it’s like playing musical chairs with strangers. I jumped in and luckily got a seat at the back. I was tired. I was sweating. I had found peace.
Or so I thought.
About three stops later, the drama entered the bus. A lady stepped in. Not just any lady — this woman looked like she had just stepped out of a Nigerian movie. She was wearing high heels, sunglasses, lipstick that looked expensive, and her handbag was so big it could carry a goat 👜🐐.
Now, I’ve been raised well. My mother would always say, “If you see a woman standing and you are sitting, get up before thunder fires you!” So, I stood up quickly and said with a smile, “Madam, you can sit here 😊.”
That was the moment I knew I had entered trouble.
She turned her head slowly, looked at me from my shoe to my forehead like I was a dirty bedsheet. Then she said, “Did I ask for your seat?”
I was confused 😳.
I laughed nervously and said, “No oo, I just wanted to be kind.”
Then boom!
She gave me a hot slap across the face! Paa! 🔥
I didn’t know when I screamed “Jesus!” so loud the driver almost parked the car. Everyone in the trotro turned around at once like we were in a church deliverance service. The mate even shouted, “Ayyyy! Madaaaam! Why?!”
The lady didn’t even look sorry. She adjusted her sunglasses and hissed, “Stop insulting me. You think because I'm a woman I need your pity?!”
Pity? I was only trying to be nice 😭.
One old man in the front seat turned and said, “Young man, next time, just mind your business.”
The mate whispered to me, “Boss, just sit down before she bites you.”
I sat back down, holding my cheek like a rejected meat pie. The pain was real, but the embarrassment was hotter than the slap 😫🔥.
Now, I could’ve just kept quiet and let it go. But no, the pain in my spirit was too much. I had to speak.
I turned to her and said, “Madam, you slapped me in front of all these people. At least say sorry.”
She turned again and said, “Oh please, if I slap you again, you’ll fly out of this bus.”
God, why me? 😭
Another woman on the bus tried to defend me. She said, “Sister, he was just being respectful.”
The slapping queen replied, “Then let him respect his mates, not me.”
At that point, I knew that I had found the queen of bad energy.
The mate came to me and whispered again, “Boss, please, today just collect your L quietly.”
Even the driver, who had been silent all this while, looked at me in his mirror and said, “Next time, pretend you didn’t see anybody.”
My fellow passengers were now using me as content.
One man at the back was doing commentary like a football match.
“Eiiii see slap! From Kasoa to Labadi in one hand!”
Another guy said, “Bro, next time give the seat to a grandpa. They don’t slap.”
I wanted the trotro to open and swallow me 😩.
We got to Circle and the lady finally got down. She didn’t even look back. She just swung her bag, adjusted her glasses and walked away like she had just finished winning a battle.
One small boy near the door whispered, “Aunty is strong ooo.”
The moment she left, the trotro exploded in noise.
Everybody started talking at once.
“Bro, you dey okay?”
“You be brave guy ooo.”
“If na me, I go slap her back!”
Even the mate offered me a free ride. He said, “Today, your pain reach me. Don’t pay.”
I thanked him with tears in my eyes. At least I saved GHS 2.50.
Now, let me tell you what happened next.
I got to work, still holding my cheek. My boss looked at me and said, “What happened to your face?”
I tried to lie. “Sir, I fell.”
He laughed. “You fell and your face caught your fall?”
I had to confess.
I told him, “A woman slapped me on the trotro.”
He laughed so hard he called the entire office. “Come and hear what happened to our gentleman here!”
Before I knew it, my slap had become a company story. People were laughing, mimicking the sound of the slap, and even giving me nicknames.
“Mr. Respect.”
“Gentleman in Distress.”
“Slapman.”
One of my co-workers even made a meme of me with the caption: “When you try to be nice in Accra but life says no.”
I almost resigned.
But here’s the thing.
Later that week, I saw the same lady again. Not in a trotro, this time at the supermarket.
I wanted to run. But she saw me first.
To my shock, she walked up to me and said, “I’m sorry for the other day.”
I blinked. “You are?”
She sighed. “Yes. I was just having a bad day. My boyfriend had just broken up with me. I thought you were mocking me. I’m truly sorry.”
Now, I didn’t know whether to forgive or ask for compensation for my cheek.
But I said, “It’s okay. I’m glad you apologized.”
Then she said, “You’re a nice guy. Can I buy you lunch to make up for it?”
Eh? From slap to lunch? 😮
I smiled. “Yes, please. But no heels this time. I’m scared.”
We both laughed. And guess what? We ended up becoming friends.
She even told me, “Next time, don’t give up on being kind.”
And I said, “I won’t. But I’ll wear a helmet — just in case.”
Moral of the story?
Sometimes, being kind might bring you pain. Sometimes, it might even bring you a hot slap. But don’t stop being kind. Just prepare for anything — even if it’s a woman with sunglasses and dangerous hands 🥲🫣.
Also, next time, before you give your seat to someone, check their mood… and their biceps 😅.
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