It all started on a bright Sunday morning 🌞 in our small town church. Everything was normal — the choir was singing off-key as usual, the usher was sweating like someone who had just finished running from their landlord, and I was sitting at the back, pretending to read my Bible while scrolling Instagram 📱.
Pastor Ebenezer, a man full of energy, dressed in his shiny white suit that looked like it was borrowed from Michael Jackson's ghost 👻, was ready to bless us that day.
He climbed the pulpit, cleared his throat dramatically like he was about to drop an album 🎤, and shouted:
“Today, we are going to have Holy Communion!”
The whole church shouted, “Amen!”
Now, before I go on, let me tell you something about our church — we are a small church with a big attitude. We don’t have money for fancy things like imported communion wine 🍷 from Jerusalem or those tiny tasteless wafers. No, no. We usually use Ribena and broken Cabin biscuits. Sometimes, we even use Zobo if Ribena is too expensive 😂.
But that Sunday, something strange happened.
The beginning of the holy mix-up
Pastor Ebenezer asked Brother Joe, the church caretaker, to prepare the communion before service. Now, Brother Joe is a good man, but he is not very smart. He is the type of person that will put his phone in the fridge and his meat in his pocket 🙄.
Apparently, the Ribena had finished. Brother Joe didn’t want to disappoint the pastor, so he went to the church store room and saw a small bottle with red liquid inside. He sniffed it and smiled.
“Ah! This one smells like strong Ribena.”
He didn’t know that what he had found was not Ribena... it was ogogoro! 😵
Yes, my brother, my sister, OGOGORO. That powerful local gin that can wake the dead and send the living into sleep at the same time 😩🔥.
He poured it into the communion cups, arranged them neatly, and went back to his seat like he had just done the work of an angel 😇.
Communion time – the drama begins
The time came. Pastor Ebenezer stood tall and proud. He lifted his tiny cup and said:
“This is the blood of Jesus! Drink and be blessed!”
The congregation shouted, “Amen!”
People took their cups, some with holy seriousness, others with curious faces. I, myself, was wondering why the communion smelled like pepper soup gone rogue.
The first person to drink was Sister Agatha, the most spiritual woman in the church. She’s the kind that prays like she’s fighting Bruce Lee.
She drank it.
Then froze.
Then blinked.
Then coughed.
Then screamed, “JESUS!!!” and fell down 😂😂😂.
Pastor Ebenezer rushed to her, shouting, “The spirit has touched her!”
More people drank.
One man shouted, “Blood of God! What is this??” and ran outside to vomit behind the usher’s car.
Another man, Brother Emeka, who had not spoken in tongues since 2003, started speaking French, Swahili, and Igbo mixed together. “Reba se le! Mbok! Chukwu nwem! Oui oui!”
Children were licking their cups and asking for more 😅.
Some elders sat back in shock. One old man removed his glasses, looked at the cup, and said, “This wine has teeth!”
Pastor Ebenezer, confused by the drama, said, “Let me test this anointing myself.”
He sipped.
He paused.
He blinked.
He sneezed.
Then he screamed, “WHO BOUGHT THIS COMMUNION WINE FROM HELL?!”
By now, the church was in chaos. Some were crying. Some were laughing. One brother was singing “Shayo dey body!” as if he was at a wedding 🎉.
Brother Joe confesses
All eyes turned to Brother Joe, who was now sweating like a turkey on Christmas Eve 🦃.
“Brother Joe!” Pastor shouted. “Where did you get this wine?!”
Brother Joe trembled and pointed to the store room.
“I saw a red bottle. I thought it was Ribena.”
We all ran to the store room.
Lo and behold! The bottle was clearly labelled in capital letters: OGOGORO – DO NOT DRINK IN CHURCH.
Pastor looked at him like he was about to deliver him to the devil himself.
“You gave us OGOGORO for holy communion?! This is not Holy Communion. This is Holy Confusion!”
Church committee emergency meeting
That same evening, we had an emergency church meeting. The elders sat like judges in court.
Elder Bako said, “This is how churches go viral for the wrong reasons. If BBC carries this news, we are finished!”
Sister Agatha, still recovering, said, “At least now I know the Holy Spirit tastes like petrol.”
One brother said, “Honestly, I liked it. I felt warm inside. Can we do this once a year?”
Pastor gave him a look that said, you will meet me behind the church after this.
In the end, we forgave Brother Joe. The pastor decided to give him a new job – washing toilets. Far away from any liquid.
The aftermath
That Sunday was never forgotten.
Till today, whenever we say “Communion Time,” people flinch 😂.
One child even asked his mum, “Mummy, are we drinking Jesus or gin today?”
Visitors now ask what drink we use before they take communion.
And Pastor Ebenezer? He now buys Ribena himself and keeps the key to the church storeroom in his Bible.
As for me, every time I see OGOGORO, I remember that Sunday when the church turned into a comedy show and we all received the fire of the spirit in a very spicy way 🔥🔥🔥.
The following Sunday, the church was unusually quiet. The usual buzz of greetings and laughter was replaced with cautious whispers. Everyone was still recovering from the "Holy Spirit Fire" that had descended upon them the previous week.
Pastor Ebenezer walked into the church, his steps slower than usual. He had spent the entire week praying and fasting, seeking forgiveness for the unintended intoxication of his congregation.
As he took his place at the pulpit, he cleared his throat and addressed the congregation.
"Beloved brethren," he began, "last week's incident was a test of our faith and a reminder that we must always be vigilant. Let us learn from this experience and move forward with renewed dedication."
The congregation nodded in agreement, grateful for the pastor's humility and willingness to take responsibility.
Brother Joe's Redemption
Brother Joe, the well-meaning but absent-minded caretaker, had become the subject of many jokes in the community. Children would mimic his actions, pretending to serve "communion" with imaginary bottles of ogogoro. Despite the embarrassment, Brother Joe remained committed to his duties, determined to regain the trust of the congregation.
One day, he approached Pastor Ebenezer with a proposal.
"Pastor," he said, "I want to organize a community outreach program to educate people about the dangers of alcohol abuse and the importance of proper labeling."
The pastor was impressed by Brother Joe's initiative and agreed to support the program. The outreach was a success, and Brother Joe's reputation was gradually restored.
A New Tradition
In the wake of the incident, the church decided to implement stricter protocols for handling communion elements. They also introduced a new tradition: a monthly "Fellowship Feast," where members would bring homemade dishes to share after the service.
This initiative fostered a sense of community and allowed members to showcase their culinary talents. It also ensured that no one would ever mistake ogogoro for communion wine again.
The Moral of the Story
The tale of the accidental ogogoro communion became a cherished story within the church, often recounted with laughter and a sense of camaraderie. It served as a reminder of the importance of attention to detail, the power of forgiveness, and the strength of community bonds.
And so, the church continued to grow, united by their shared experiences and the lessons they had learned. They knew that, no matter what challenges they faced, they could overcome them together—with faith, humor, and a little bit of grace.
Whispers in the Community
After the Ogogoro Communion Sunday, the whole neighborhood was talking. You know how Ghanaian gossip travels faster than MTN airtime vanishing? 😅
People would pass by the church and whisper,
"Ei, that’s the church where people received ‘Holy Ghost’ and hangover together oo." 😆
Some taxi drivers even nicknamed the church “Spirit Chapel” – not because of the Holy Spirit, but because of the spirit drink that almost caused a riot.
One old woman said, "Next time I go there, I’ll carry garri, just in case they serve ogogoro again. At least I’ll soak it and balance it well."
Pastor Ebenezer Gets Invited to a Radio Show 📻
A popular radio station caught wind of the story and invited Pastor Ebenezer for an interview.
The host laughed so hard on air, he had to take a break.
"So, Pastor," the host asked, holding back laughter, "do you now check your wine with your nose or your spirit?"
Pastor Ebenezer chuckled. "From now on, I sniff, I pray, and then I sip—before sharing with the church." 😅
Listeners called in with their jokes:
"Pastor, next time please bless sobolo."
"That mate Joe needs glasses and deliverance!"
"Please I want to join the church—do you do 'Holy shots' every Sunday?"
The interview went viral. The church unintentionally became famous. Even TikTok had skits of people pretending to fall under the spirit, shouting, "Ogogoro dey work!" 🤣
Brother Joe's Surprise Promotion 🧹➡️📋
Surprisingly, Brother Joe became a local celebrity. People came to take selfies with him.
He would just smile shyly and say, "It was a mistake oo. I was tired and the bottles looked alike."
Despite everything, Pastor Ebenezer did not sack him.
Instead, he gave him a new job: Official Quality Control Officer for Communion Wine.
Now every Sunday, Joe would open the wine, sniff it, sip a little, look serious, and then nod slowly like a judge tasting jollof rice in a competition.
He even printed a shirt with the words:
"Tested and Trusted - No More Ogogoro." 😂
New Rules and One Funny Sign 📜
The church also made new rules:
All communion wine must be kept away from anything that smells like it can clean wounds.
All bottles must be labelled in big, bold letters.
Brother Joe is banned from arranging drinks after 6pm – just to be safe.
And outside the communion room, a big sign was placed:
“No Spirit Shall Enter Here Unchecked.”
The “Holy Hangover Anniversary” 😂🍇
One year later, the church marked the event with a celebration they called:
“The Day the Spirit Moved (Too Much)”
People came wearing t-shirts like:
“I survived Ogogoro Sunday”
“Holy Ghost with a kick!”
“I saw angels – or maybe it was just dizziness”
They laughed, they sang, and they shared stories of that unforgettable day. Pastor Ebenezer gave a funny sermon titled:
“Not All Spirits Are Holy”
He ended with:
"Let this remind us that while mistakes may be bitter like ogogoro, forgiveness is sweet like communion wine."
The whole church clapped and laughed. It had been a tough year, but they had grown stronger—and closer.
The Final Joke 🤭
One day, a new member came to church. He had heard of the story and looked worried.
Before communion, he leaned over to an old member and asked,
"Are you sure this one is real wine?"
The old member smiled and whispered back,
"Don’t worry. Brother Joe now tastes it with his own life every Sunday!" 😂
The End
📝 Moral of the Story
Always check your bottles.
Don’t send tired people to do spiritual duties.
And above all… even when life gives you ogogoro, laugh about it and grow together.
😄🙏🏾🍷💒
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