There are strange days, and then there’s the day a goat joined Zoom meetings and became a spiritual consultant.
This is not a joke. Okay, maybe it sounds like one. But ask Tobi, the tech bro who now shares his home office with a goat named “Chief”, and he’ll tell you: “Bro, it all started on a Tuesday. A simple Tuesday o!”
Let me tell you what happened. Sit down, grab popcorn 🍿 (or goat feed if you’re Chief), and listen.
The Great Escape 🐐➡️🏃♂️
Chief was no ordinary goat. He was smart. Too smart. He had lived on Mama Nkem’s farm all his life, but he had dreams. Big dreams. He was tired of eating grass and chasing chickens.
One morning, Mama Nkem tied Chief under the mango tree, as usual. But this time, she forgot one thing—she left her grandson’s skateboard near him. Chief stared at it. The skateboard stared back. Then something clicked in his goat brain. 🤔
Next thing you know, Chief pushed the skateboard with his hooves, jumped on it, and rolled straight through the gate.
Just like that—Zoom!—he was gone. 🛹💨
From Farm to Fancy Fence 🏡🐐
Chief’s journey took him far. He passed cars, shops, and one angry dog that barked like it owed Chief money. 🐶💢
After an hour of goat-style cruising, he rolled into a quiet estate with big houses, fresh lawns, and confused security men.
One guard looked at the camera and said, “Oga, I think we have a... goat visitor?”
Chief didn't wait. He rolled right into the backyard of one fine house. It belonged to Tobi the Tech Bro.
Now, Tobi was the kind of guy who said things like “I build blockchain ecosystems” and “bro, we’re disrupting rice farming with AI.” 🤖🍚
But Tobi didn’t expect a goat to show up behind his house that morning. No sir.
He was on a Zoom call, talking about cloud servers, when Chief popped his head through the sliding door.
obi screamed.
“Ah! Jesus! What’s that?!”
His colleagues on Zoom were confused.
One guy said, “Is that your pet, Tobi?”
Tobi blinked. “That’s not my pet! I don’t even eat goat meat because they look too wise!”
Zoom Goat Goes Viral 🐐📸
Instead of running away, Chief walked into Tobi’s room like he owned it. He sniffed the laptop, looked into the webcam, and—no joke—sat down calmly.
Everyone on the Zoom call burst into laughter.
“Bro, your goat has presence!”
“This goat looks like he knows stuff!”
Tobi tried to push Chief away, but the goat headbutted his leg gently.
“Ow!”
The project manager on the Zoom call said, “Actually… the goat has good energy. Look at him. Peaceful. Zen. I feel calm just watching him.”
Another guy added, “We need someone to handle wellness and spirituality for the team. Let’s make the goat our spiritual consultant!”
Everyone laughed.
But then the CEO—who was on the call from Bali—said, “That’s not a bad idea. We’ve been too stressed. Let's keep him on board.”
Tobi froze. “Wait, what?”
And that’s how Chief the goat got hired.
Salary Negotiations and Sniffing Coffee ☕🐐
Tobi didn’t know what to do. One moment, he was explaining software updates. The next, his new "colleague" was chewing the corner of his rug and sniffing his coffee cup.
But now, Chief had a job. He even had a title on Slack: Chief Wellness Officer (CWO).
Tobi tried to get rid of him.
He took him outside.
Chief came back.
He closed the doors.
Chief opened them with his horns.
He took him to a nearby bush.
Chief returned before him, waiting at the door like, “Where have you been, bro?” 😌
Soon, people started booking Zoom meetings just to “talk to the goat.”
“Hey Chief, I’m feeling burnt out.”
Chief would yawn and chew paper.
“Wow,” they’d say. “Deep stuff. He’s telling me to let go of toxic work.”
Even the HR lady cried once and said, “Chief really gets me.”
Goatfluencer 🌟📱
One day, Tobi posted a video of Chief sitting in on a meeting with calm background music and the caption:
“Our spiritual consultant doesn’t speak, but says everything. #GoatWisdom 🐐✨”
The video went viral. People were obsessed.
Soon, Chief had:
An Instagram page 🖼️
A LinkedIn profile
2 sponsorship deals with herbal tea companies ☕🌿
And a podcast called Goat Talk: Inner Peace from the Farm to the Future
Tobi didn’t know whether to cry or open a business account for the goat.
People stopped asking about tech. They wanted to hear from Chief.
One investor said, “If your goat is on the pitch deck, I’m in.”
Mama Nkem Finds Out! 😱
Meanwhile, back at the farm, Mama Nkem was looking for Chief.
“Where is that foolish goat?!”
She posted on Facebook, went to the market with flyers, even asked the village pastor to pray.
One day, her niece in Lagos called.
“Aunty! I just saw your goat on Instagram! He’s famous o!”
“What?! On what-gram?!”
She checked the page.
There was Chief—sitting on a chair, wearing sunglasses, with a quote that said:
“Don’t chase success. Chew your truth slowly.” 🐐💬
Mama Nkem almost fainted.
She packed her bag and took the next bus to Lagos.
Chapter Eight: Showdown in the Backyard 🚍👵🏽🐐
Mama Nkem arrived with slippers in hand.
She didn’t knock. She stormed into the backyard like a Nollywood actor.
“Chief! Come here, you foolish animal!”
Chief turned slowly and blinked.
Tobi ran out. “Mama, wait! He’s working!”
“Working what?! This goat owes me three years of cassava!”
Before she could grab him, Chief did a backflip (yes, really), jumped onto the roof, and refused to come down. 😭
Mama Nkem shouted, “This is not a goat again. This is a spirit!”
Even the neighbors clapped. One aunty said, “This goat needs deliverance, not a job.”
HR Issues and Hoofprints 🧑🏽💼🐾
The company had to step in. They called a special meeting.
Tobi, Mama Nkem, the HR lady, and Chief were all present. (Chief wore a small tie for this one.)
Mama Nkem said, “I just want my goat back.”
The HR lady said, “Chief is under contract.”
Tobi said, “Can we pay the goat salary to Mama Nkem?”
Chief said nothing. Just chewed a carrot.
After much talking, they agreed:
Mama Nkem would receive a monthly “goat allowance” 🤑
Chief would continue working part-time (only 3 Zoom calls per day)
A therapist would be assigned to help Mama Nkem deal with the “goat betrayal”
Everyone was happy. Even Chief gave a small “mehh” of approval.
Peace, Prosperity, and Goat Yoga 🧘🏽♂️🐐
Life settled down. Chief became a symbol of calm across the tech world.
He was invited to speak (well, appear) at virtual conferences like:
Mindfulness for Startups
The Silence That Speaks
How to Chew Grass and Still Make Millions
Tobi launched a company called Goatflow, focused on combining tech and nature. Investors rushed in. 🐐💰
Mama Nkem became a motivational speaker: “If your goat can enter Zoom, your dreams are possible.”
And every morning, Tobi and Chief did yoga together in the backyard. Chief was especially good at the downward goat pose. 😌🧘🏽♂️
The End… Or Just the Beginning? 🤔
And that’s how a mischievous goat escaped a farm, joined Zoom meetings, and changed lives.
The moral of the story?
Don’t judge a goat by its hooves. Sometimes, your greatest employee is the one eating your charger cable.
😂🐐💻🧘🏽♂️🍌
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